Let me start by saying that my whole family has told me to stop putting two spaces after periods. I will not be doing that, as I am set in my ways, but thank you for your input.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5WNeoOrRNw/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
because she knew it would rile me up, as I believe MY Catholic vehicle is better than the mommy blogger's.
Our whole family are lapsed Catholics. Larry and I were churchgoers until 2016. We sent the kids to Catholic school for 13 years. (As someone said recently, "At least they know exactly what they're rejecting.") But then a couple of things happened: 1. We found out just how widespread the pedophilia was and just how many upper level clergy knew about it and did NOTHING and 2. Some churches began preaching that you should vote for any candidate that was (ah-hem) pro-life, but I'm sorry, it's not that simple. Women's reproductive health is complicated and scary. The church needs to stay out of a woman's medical decisions AND out of politics.
But we will always be culturally Catholic. We love all the weird Saints and Martyrs, all the fun statuary, the elaborate rituals, the colorful parades, and especially the syncretism, wherein the Catholics just folded in whatever ancient beliefs were around and called them Catholic.
I love Catholic tchotchkes - statues, stickers, key chains, holy cards - and the more colorful and tacky they are the more I love them. My house, my handbag, and my car are full of these things. So I'm sorry, Mrs. Tasteful Homeschooling Mother of 5, I think my Catholic vehicle blows yours out of the water.
Here are some highlights of MY ultimate Catholic vehicle.
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| A Guardian Angel Visor Clip purchased at the gift shop of The National Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help in Door, Wisconsin, where Adele Brise saw visions of the Virgin Mary in 1859 |
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| A window cling of a rose window from Sagrada Familia, purchased on location in Barcelona |
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| Some of my tchotchkes - Sacred Heart Jesus purchased at Our Lady of Great America, and a Krishna and Parvati plaque and Buddha flashlight purchased at the East West Bookshop in Mountain View |
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| A cross made of olive wood from the Holy Land and a Marian keychain. I don't recall how these came into my life. The basket was purchased at a local history museum in Gig Harbor, Washington. |
And that's just the car. The house is chock-full of Virgin Marys and Saints. As a small sample, here is the family room mantel that I have turned into a shrine. The artwork is my own, and the decorations are from Mexican party stores. I LOVE a Mexican party store.
After watching the above referred Instagram video by Ms Combo, ultra-traditional Catholic home-schooling mommy blogger, I went down a rabbit hole and combed through her whole account.
I like this post about her prayer bracelets, especially because it shows her kids' excellent Texas names: Kolbe, Blaise, Colette, Quin, and Caeli. Now, back in the day, you couldn't even get your baby baptized unless they had a saint's name. So I don't know how this über traditional Catholic reconciles those nonsense names with her faith.
All three of our children are somewhat obsessed with Christian Mommy bloggers. I can understand Amy Jo's interest, as they minored in religious studies. But Susan and Ellen just enjoy the blogs for the voyeuristic aspect of peeking into the life of someone with whom you have almost nothing in common. The kids have all thanked us for raising them in a religion that allowed for alcohol consumption, ornate statuary, and an array of wardrobe options.
Some of our favorite topics include Mormon names, polygamist hairstyles, the "quiver-full" of children idea, "purity", trad wives, etc.
Mormon names are fun. If you do a google search on "mormon names" or "Utah names", I can guarantee you will not be bored. I like this compilation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfIehCrO4Zs
Allison Czarnecki, a mom in Utah, tweeted an actual list of names from her son's junior high yearbook, including, but not limited to:
Aeryn, Aimsley, Aroarin, Atylee, Avorie, Bayli, Braylin, Celisa, Coye, Dexonna, Dezalin, Dreyasin, Elexsys, Gambit, Garyn, Jaidyn, Kambri, Kaydenz, Kayson, Kelldrix, Keyairaa, Kirtlyn, Kyson, Maddyson, Madysen, Mekeli, Mikaylee, Oaklie, Paizley, Preslee, Rylei, Saydee, Shadee, Stott, Stran, Syrie, Taiten, Taeber, Taeg, Taeton, Tayson
I got interested in why Mormon's use such original names, and found this interesting take on the board
https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2117407,2118095
"The first is my historical-cultural theory—that the penchant for invented names among Mormons lies in its very foundation: It goes all the way back to its founder, Joseph Smith, who had to come up with the names of hundreds of figures to populate the faith’s foundational text that he wrote, the Book of Mormon. So I guess you could say it all started there, with Mormon himself."
Fascinating.
Polygamist hairstyles are necessary because FLDS women do not cut their hair and thus have a lot of it. Why do they let their hair grow? I found this on an old reddit thread.
"My family was really good friends with a polygamist family in my Salt Lake neighborhood when I was growing up. It all references back to Mark 14:9, when Mary anoints Jesus' feet. She drys them with her long hair. The polygamist women don't cut their hair so it will be long enough to dry feet."
The Quiver Full Idea
From https://bizarreculture.com/who-are-the-women-of-quiverfull/
"Big families, Jesus, and patriarchy. For outsiders, that’s all there is to Quiverfull. The loosely organized Christian movement is known for its conservative stance on gender. Women are expected to submit to their husbands, raise children, and reject contraception."
The name is based on a verse from the bible.
Psalm 127:3-5
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Some women (and I guess men?) have taken this as a challenge to have AS MANY CHILDREN AS POSSIBLE while posting videos about how great it is and how happy they are all the time. I've had three children and it is not sunshine and rainbows all the time, no matter how much you love Jesus.
But the quiver full, trad wife influencer videos are COMPELLING. I spent hours watching the Ballerina Farms videos.
https://www.instagram.com/ballerinafarm/?hl=en
Hannah Neeleman and her husband David have eight children and live on a farm in rural Utah. She makes a lot of food from scratch in her Instagram videos, usually with a child hanging off of her. They raise a lot of animals at the farm. There are videos of Hannah getting up at dawn to drive thirty minutes to work out in a gym. (Why? You work all day on a farm!!). They run a business selling farm products. She took a little time off the farm to be crowned Mrs. American 2023 and parade around in a swimsuit. Watching Ballerina Farm videos makes me feel CRAZY. She must have a lot of help that just doesn't show up in the videos. Raising kids in town with no animals and a lot of pre-prepared food was hard. What Hannah purports to do? I would say impossible.
Purity
On the purity front, we have Girl Defined Ministries, two married women from Texas who have a whole business centered around Biblical Womanhood, which involves absolute purity of body and mind before marriage (the ultimate goal of every REAL woman, apparently) and submission to your husband after marriage.
As you might imagine, they are against feminism, being gay, working outside the home, etc etc. This lifestyle seems impractical, and frankly cruel. Life is not one size fits all. One of the sisters claims her first kiss was on her wedding day, and, not gonna lie, I am not the only person who thinks her husband is pretty gay. Neither woman seems particularly happy in their marriage, but they feel superior in every way to people who are not married.
When I was visiting Ellen in LA last week, we went to The Last Bookstore, an instagram-worthy book store in an old bank building in downtown. Ellen immediately gravitated to the Christian lifestyle section. Here she is reading about how you should never get out of your awful marriage.
I hope I have given you some new ideas for how to waste your time on the internet!!
