I Have Seen My Future, and I'm Okay With It

I haven’t posted for a while. I wish I could say it was because I have been busy and productive, but that would be a lie.  Alas, I have simply been honing my skill at doing nearly nothing all day.

This morning I drove over to a friend’s house to take a walk.  On my way up the driveway, I grabbed what I assumed to be my local morning paper so that I could work the Sudoku outside the home, since I get a lot of dirty looks when I work Sudokus inside the home. 

Imagine my consternation when, post walk, I decided to do the Sudoku in my car, and realized that the newspaper on my driveway had been a Wall Street Journal!  The WSJ does not have a Sudoku, or recipes, or anything I am interested in, only News.  Somewhere on my street is a frustrated venture capitalist who HAS MY PUZZLE.

I am a stubborn woman, and I wanted my puzzle, so I drove to the CVS and bought a newspaper.  Actually, there was only one newspaper on the floor by the door, so it may have been the manager’s personal newspaper, but the clerk sold it to me for $1.50.

Many of my daily detours are determined by public toilets.  Before enjoying my puzzle I needed to find a public toilet.  There is a Safeway next to the CVS, so I thought, I will use the Safeway toilet, get something to cook for dinner, and then do the puzzle.

Before entering the Safeway, I sat in my car and read 50 recipes for chicken enchiladas.  That’s right, 50.  I am so good at wasting time.  I finally settled on a recipe for Enchiladas Suizas, which means Enchiladas Swiss Style, because of all the dairy in them.  Now you know, and you’re welcome.

After stowing my groceries, which included a six pack of mixed red and white wine which met my exacting criteria of costing between 10 and 12 dollars after the discount, I took my puzzle to the bagel café.

As I was enjoying my bagel and puzzle, a tiny confused elderly woman wandered in.  Luckily, the store was not busy, because this woman needed A LOT of help.  She desired to purchase some bagels and cream cheese to share with her afternoon art class.  Seems simple, no?  Most emphatically no.

This was not the café manager’s first rodeo, though, and after about 20 minutes the woman had a box of bagels and some cream cheese.  The woman then stood there for a minute, looking at the box on the counter, the paper bag containing cream cheese and napkins, her unnecessarily large handbag, and her credit card, which was still in her hand.

Heaving a sigh, the manager came from behind the counter, helped the woman put her credit card away, and offered to carry the box to the woman’s car.  They set off out the door.  The manager returned in a few minutes, still holding the box of bagels.  It turns out that the woman had no idea where she had parked her car.

At that moment I saw my future, and you know what?  I’m okay with it.