Tuesday, December 17, 2019

It's the Vegetable Cloud


We are geographically blessed when it comes to grocery stores.  We live in the opposite of a food desert – we are within easy walking distance of three excellent grocery stores and within a short car ride of about ten more.

The plethora of grocery stores near me has resulted in a complicated optimizing algorithm whenever I set out to procure dinner.  Best vegetables and baguettes? DeMartinis.  Brown Gravy or anything vaguely British?  Draegers.  Paneer or Foccacia?  Sprouts.  Nuts or non-dairy milks?  Trader Joes.

But the Safeway – the Safeway has everything.  It doesn’t have the best versions of everything, but it’s open later than all the other groceries, and I’m there nearly every day.

I feel like I’m friends with all my local Safeway employees, but I can almost guarantee that feeling is not mutual.

Anyhoo, the last couple of times I have been at the Safeway I have heard a high-pitched noise in the produce section that I assumed came from repairs to the refrigeration or something.

BUT- tonight, after a few cocktails at a friend’s house, I stopped by the Safeway for a carton of milk and late-night potato chips - and the high-pitched sound was still emanating from the produce section, even though there was clearly no one working there.

I was just intoxicated enough to investigate.  I found a stock clerk in the produce section and asked, “What’s that noise?”

The clerk looked a little panicked and said “Sorry, no English, only Spanish.”

No problem, I thought, I have been taking Spanish classes for years.  However, I could not remember the word for noise, and I’m sure I never knew the word for “high-pitched”.

“¿Que es el grito?”  I asked.  (“What is the scream?”)

“Es el nubio de los vegetales,” she answered, as she ran away.  (“It is the vegetable cloud.”)

“Hmmm,” I thought.  And then the noise started up again just as the misting system sprayed the vegetables with water, and I thought, “Aha!! The vegetable cloud!!”

I am pleased to know the source of the noise, but I hope they fix it soon, because it really does sound like the bell peppers are screaming.

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