Tuesday, February 19, 2019

He Estado en la Casa Blanca


This evening I made life just a little bit better for twenty community college students.  We were playing the classic foreign language learning game of Bingo in my Intermediate Spanish class, and as the only member of the class who has been to the White House, I enabled everyone to complete a Bingo on the second column down on their cards for five extra credit points.

One student got lucky and asked me the pivotal question, and every head in the room turned to us.  Nineteen more times I was asked: “¿Katherine, ha estado en la Casa Blanca?”
And nineteen times I answered: “¡Si! He estado en la Casa Blanca.”

I love taking community college classes.  I love Intermediate Spanish so much that this is my sixth or seventh time taking the course.

In high school I took Latin, which was useful for scoring high on the verbal section of the SAT, but useless if you want to converse with anyone outside of Vatican City.

My quest to learn Spanish began with an after work Berlitz class at my first job in Manhattan.  Since then, I have taken many Spanish classes in many community centers, libraries, and colleges. 

When my youngest daughter started elementary school, I decided to start Spanish at Foothill College right up the street.  Over twelve years there I gradually progressed through Beginning Spanish 1,2, and 3, Intermediate Spanish 1, and then I kind of stalled.
I failed Intermediate Spanish 2 twice, after which I decided to try a different community college.

So now I’m at Cañada College a little further up the street and taking Intermediate Spanish 1 again.

I love meeting the wide variety of people who sign up for community college.  Usually the youngest compañero de clase is a disaffected sixteen-year-old high school student and the oldest is well into their golden years.

We do a lot of personal sharing in class, although usually in Spanish, so I only get about 60% of the content, but what I can understand is very interesting.

¡Vamos a aprender Español!

Today's Pointless Activity


It is Ellen’s birthday this coming weekend, which I used as an excuse to shop for and create a pointless craft.  At some point in my youth, I heard the aphorism “Time that you enjoy wasting isn’t wasted time.”  I have really taken this to heart over the last 40 years or so.

I spent the morning cleaning for the cleaning ladies.  I used to feel guilty about paying ladies to clean my house. Then I read an Alexander McCall Smith book set in Botswana, in which the wise protagonist Precious Ramotswe chides her neighbor for being rich enough to provide others with work and not doing so.

It’s not that I’m too lazy to clean my own house - I’m sharing my wealth!  But I can’t let the ladies think I am a slovenly housekeeper, so I spend hours making sure there isn’t any dirty underwear lying about or crusty pots on the stove, etc. etc.

I used to leave the dog at home with the ladies but he has developed anxiety about the vacuum cleaner which causes him to empty his bladder on the staircase, so now I have to take him with me to run errands.

He travels in the back of my Cadillac in his crate.  We think that the dog’s consciousness  effectively winks out of existence while he is in the crate.  He doesn’t make a sound and I tend to forget he’s back there.

I took the dog home once the ladies were safely gone and then I went to a Michael’s craft store.  For me, being in Michael’s is kind of like the dog being in the crate.  I was in there for nearly three hours, as if time had become suspended as I wandered around idly thinking about crafts.

My ostensible purpose was to buy a “substrate” for my collage of doll pictures, but I got way more than that.  I wonder if it is physically possible for me to live long enough to finish all the projects I’ve started…

I bought Amy a whittling kit, because that is the sort of thing she enjoys.  We had a pleasant family evening eating polenta, watching the Bachelor, drinking white wine, and crafting.

I did finish my gift for Ellen, and I hope she likes it.



Thursday, February 14, 2019

Texts With Nolan


This past weekend me, Larry, Susan, and Amy were in Coachella for Amy’s equestrian polo tournament.  We stayed at the Indian Palms Vacation Club, which is exactly as old and weird as it sounds.

When I checked in, there were two octogenarian ladies checking in ahead of me, and they each had only one question: “Where is the nearest Walmart?”

So imagine my surprise when later that evening I began receiving texts about “fun events” at the Vacation Club.

I reproduce the texts in their entirety because we found them hilarious.  It is true that we were all imbibing Jamesons, and two of us were smoking the devil’s lettuce, but here goes.

‪+1 (760) 566-6689:
         Hello Lang,  Join us tomorrow for Towel Art at 10am and our ever-popular Vodka Snow Cones.

Katherine Lang:
         Ummmm who sent this message? What is Towel Art??

‪+1 (760) 566-6689:
         This is the indian palms vacation club's texting service. We send out notifications of the various activities we have throughout the week. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.

Katherine Lang:
         Thanks for your quick reply, but I still want to know about Towel art
+1 (760) 566-6689:
         One of our housekeepers teaches our guests how to do a hotel towel origami. It's usually a towel folded into a shape of an animal.

Katherine Lang:
         Thanks again for your quick reply!! Does this event draw big crowds??
+1 (760) 566-6689:
         I have heard that it is pretty popular with the guests, but the turnout varies from week to week.

Katherine Lang:
         I can well believe that the elderly patrons I have seen thus far would enjoy a good swan-shaped towel, but do they really turn up for Vodka Snow Cones????
+1 (760) 566-6689:
         The vodka snow cones are far more popular during the summer months, but we do have at least one or two people stop buy to grab one each week.

Katherine Lang:
         So, let me get this straight - if we show up in the activity office at 10 am, we will be taught to make towel animals and given complimentary vodka treats?
+1 (760) 566-6689:
         The Vodka snow-cones will be at 3pm. so it is a separate event from the towel art. A time-chart calendar of events is located at the front desk, we just send these texts out as a reminder or to ask guests to RSVP.

Katherine Lang:
         Thanks SO MUCH for the info!! I will stop by the front desk first thing tomorrow to get a full roster of these fascinating events.

As I checked out, I said to the young man with ginger hair who was manning the desk,
“I’m sorry I missed the vodka snow cones.  Were you the person I was texting about them?”

Blushing to the roots of his hair, he mumbled “No, that was Nolan.”  I just wish I had gotten the chance to meet Nolan in the flesh.